Chronic Pain: Why Me? What have I done wrong?
Let’s begin here:
There is nothing wrong with you.
You haven’t failed. You didn’t cause this. And you’re not broken.
The Why questions are understandable and often the starting point for why my clients or those suffering with chronic pain reach out. They want to know. They want to understand and they want to an answer. This can be scary and it can take time, because there might be not just one but many whys. And that’s where therapy comes in, it supports the path to answer the why question, to get to the root.
Every client and experience of chronic pain is unique. Therapy offers a space to untangle the “why” — gently, safely, and at your pace.
What Is Chronic Pain?
I covered this in one of my previous posts, so feel free to click here. This is just a short summary. Chronic pain is pain that lasts longer than 3 months, often persisting beyond the point when an injury should have healed — or sometimes, with no clear physical cause at all.
This can be confusing, exhausting, and invalidating. But the truth is: chronic pain is real. It involves a complex interaction between body, brain, and nervous system. Over time, pain signals can get stuck on repeat, even when no tissue damage is present.
This doesn't mean you're imagining it. It means your system may need support, not just to treat symptoms — but to retrain how it processes and holds pain.
How Therapy Can Help
At Yateley Therapy Space, I offer integrative, compassionate approaches that support not just your mind — but your body, emotions, and nervous system too.
Here are the core tools we may explore:
Clinical Hypnosis
Hypnosis uses focused attention and deep relaxation to reduce pain perception and shift how your brain processes discomfort.
It helps:
Turn down the “volume” on pain
Access calm and regulation
Invite new possibilities into the nervous system
You remain in control — hypnosis is a gentle invitation, not a loss of consciousness.
Parts Work & Gestalt Integration
When we live with chronic pain, inner conflict often emerges:
The part of you that’s tired of fighting
The part that’s angry no one understands
The part that feels guilty for slowing down
In therapy, we work with these “parts” using Internal Family Systems principles — and also draw from Gestalt therapy (as developed by Fritz Perls), which encourages honest, present-moment dialogue between different aspects of the self.
Through this work, clients often discover:
Where their pain is “held” emotionally
What inner voices need to be heard and healed
How reclaiming agency softens pain's intensity
Gestalt work brings you into the now with what’s true — allowing new clarity and relief to emerge through awareness and ownership.
Pain Reframing, CBT & Mindfulness-Based Tools
Sometimes chronic pain is worsened not by what we feel — but by how we relate to what we feel. In my post about chronic pain I shared some of the pain reframing approaches, feel free to read more about in the blog, here.
Other tools that might help are Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness techniques as they can also reframe automatic pain-related thoughts like:
“This will never end.”
“I can’t cope with this.”
“There’s no point trying.”
Together, we gently shift toward thoughts like:
“I can take this moment by moment.”
“There are tools that support me.”
“Pain is part of my experience — not all of it.”
Mindfulness allows you to observe sensations without judgment, reduce fear around flare-ups, and calm the reactivity that pain often triggers. It supports you to anchor in the present, even when discomfort is present.
A New Question
If you’ve spent months or years asking “Why me?”
What would it be like to ask:
“What if I didn’t have chronic pain?”
What would change?
What would become possible?
What parts of you would show up again?
You don’t need to know the answer today. Just bring the question to our first session.
Chronic pain is not the whole story of who you are.
It deserves to be heard, understood, and softened.
At Yateley Therapy Space, you’ll find a calm, accepting space to begin exploring relief — not just symptom by symptom, but as a whole person.
Clinical hypnosis
Parts work & Gestalt dialogue
CBT & mindfulness reframing
Nervous system-aware support
You're not broken. You're already on your healing path. And you don’t have to walk it alone.
Ready to begin?
Bring your curiosity — and your “What if?”
Let’s explore it together.